There's something to learn everyday

Like a frog in a well

2011-01-24T01:52:00.002+08:00

Sometimes... no many a times, I feel like i'm just looking at the shadows cast by the fire behind me. And these shadows just seem so little compared to what I know is out there. Yet I am bounded by a force which doesn't allow me to turn back and see the fire, see the other shadows others are seeing.

I see just what i see again and again.

That is probably why after years, i'm still blogging here.

Need to get out of the rut.

Test Test...

2011-01-24T01:44:00.002+08:00

Initially there were thoughts of moving to another site, just to have a fresh start.

But as with life, there's no way one can do a refresh and start all over again. "We all have baggages." (HIMYM) and even if we move on to a whole different country, we will still have them with us.

So I'll just change a little about the appearance and pretend, for a little while, this is a brand new me.

Agony of the office

2010-06-26T00:50:00.003+08:00

One thing I recently come to dislike very much.. at 1st it was a very good thing to have, it breaks the monotony, then it's a nice to have, but not essential.

After a while, it became irritating.

Lately, it's been unbearable.

I'm talking about the radio that keeps playing the same songs over and over again in the office!

The situation is this: we have a radio in the office that is right next to me. This radio is for everyone since I came there and also because everyone can hear it. Everyday without fail, it'll be tuned to Class 95 (which has fantastic DeeJays).

The thing is there are people who wants to listen to it, I can't shut it off. But having Shakira and Waka waka everyday for the past month is really pushing it. (I start to believe "Waka waka" is all the words i need to communicate.)

I don't mind someone singing about love songs. Love is often beautifully expressed through a song. (Personally I like songs such as Beauty and the Beast)

But not when someone keeps singing "Oooh Maaiiii Gaawwwdd...." over and over again.. AND it's OOOHHHH oohh OOOH OOHH over and over again!

The worst thing about this is that it will keep replaying in my head after office hours! The only relief I have is that they don't play the YOG song : "Oh yeah Oh yea Oh yeah.." That will surely make me insane.

I tried to discreetly leaving it off when I come to work (and reluctantly turn it on when someone asks), lowering the volume, plugging into my mp3 player. But none of these works in the long run. I can't be on my mp3 the whole day and even with the lowered volume, I can still hear the radio over my earphones.

Please.. no more. If anyone has any suggestions, I really would like to hear them. I want to hear myself think for a change.

Technology is changing so fast..

2010-06-24T20:53:00.003+08:00

Things that I am glad I hesitated in getting:

mini disc player

Things I sort of regret getting:

Creative Zen (that weighs a tonne)

Things that I'm glad I didn't hesitate:

my laptop (Thinkpad X61)

Things that I regret not getting sooner:

A new mobile phone

Somehow I feel a little outdated when i see out of 10 ppl using their phone, 7 will be using an iphone. Makes me think I shd get a smart phone too.. but maybe not the iphone 4... (unless there's another price war.)

Language is the Key

2010-05-31T01:52:00.001+08:00

Whether communicating internally or externally. It plays an important role. Does language reflect what you are thinking or does it affect it? Sounds like I have a chicken and egg qn.

Not Musings, but rather.. ideas of others.

2010-03-15T21:38:00.004+08:00

Things I heard/read today and believe it's true:

Everyone feels lonely at times and at all times, want to feel appreciated and valued.
Studies show overprotected children have more problems such as less developed pre-frontal cortex.
Ask for the things you want.

I've learnt that..

2010-03-04T23:28:00.003+08:00

It's really no use trying to change another person. In the end, you only sour your relationship with him/her and also disappoint yourself.

Better to just be yourself and also respect others.

Being yourself/Being myself. One of the things to do..

所谓十年树木百年树人

2010-02-28T20:14:00.004+08:00

所谓十年树木百年树人

I'm still learning things.. right just now I realise that when I experience bad things, such as not being able to find my document, I feel really really sad and disappointed. When I watch a sad/touching movie, I cry more easily.

But for positive emotions, such as when I finally found the document, the good luck barely registered at all in my mind. It is only when I think about it that I remember being so anxious and worried about it. But when I found it, it did not elicit a similar intensity of positive emotions.

I am already dispositioned to be the pessimist by 25 years of habit. I hope by the time I'm 75, I will be able to undo it and be a really cheerful person. =)

I shall post some of the really old things I found.

I realised I extorted money....

and was a mafia member.....

slandered...

and to my sister.....

for a sweet!

That must be a very important sweet.

PS that is from a letter I wrote when my mum got me a Postman playset.

Sorry sister! I'll not do it again. I'll return you the $2 soon.. I hope

I am taught a lesson

2009-12-24T20:45:00.001+08:00

Only promise people what you can do, and not what others want.

It's better to do a job well than to do 2 jobs with mistakes.

Quote(s)

2009-12-19T16:57:00.001+08:00

"Sometimes we depend on other people as a mirror, to define us and tell us who we are. And each reflection makes me like myself a little more." - Elizabeth, My Blueberry Nights

1 hr 6 mins of my life

2009-12-08T18:17:00.004+08:00

That was well spent running the Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon..... 's 10km race.

It's been 4 yrs since I ran the same marathon and there is definitely more people this time. Not to mention that I've also become so much less fitter than I used to be. I'm glad I did my marathon right after army.

Thanks to my bro whose friend couldn't make it for the run. Otherwise I wouldn't have paid so much to run 10km.

:) I should set some goals.. personal goals.

I feels very special

2009-11-29T03:00:00.002+08:00

to have 3 persons treating me for 3 different activities, especially when I've not met them for a long while. Thanks to those for the dinners, DOTA and cab ride.

Life becomes more than just earning money after today.

Haiku~

2009-11-22T22:01:00.003+08:00

Sunday night surfing,

Waiting for the time for work,

Quite apprehensive

Something to work on.

2009-11-22T12:36:00.002+08:00

These days, after work weekends are spent doing things that aren't productive. Like blogging or fb-ing. I'm thinking of doing something meaningful or productive like exercising or learning something. Procrastination still wins day after day. Or sleep. The easiest thing to do.

I think I shd make running a habit and try to reach marathon standards before 30

Am glad

2009-11-21T01:03:00.001+08:00

To have such a good supervisor who cares for her members. Who takes the time to sit in during lunch and went out of the way to call various people to get him into a company event.

It all culminates here..

2009-11-18T18:48:00.002+08:00

Those socializing skills, those computer knowledge, those taking charge of your life. Those learning how to do something on your own. Those goals setting and reaching.

It all culminates at my 1st job and quite frankly I'm feeling quite a bit of the stress being in a totally new environment with no one familiar for 8 hrs a day, 5 days a week. I have no idea how to be the professional expected of me in this new role that I've been placed in.

I do hope they will go easy on me. Hopefully they didn't confuse me with the person who was being interviewed 3 weeks ago.

好久不见

2009-11-07T12:24:00.003+08:00

昨天我和我的高宗同学聚会了一下下。在我的家打了麻将。跟平常一样，我一赌就一定输。幸好我早已所名“我们不赌好吗？“要不然，裤子也有可能被赢走。
上一次见面时可能是4个月前吧，所以我非常兴奋能够看到他们。虽然‘他们’只是两个，但我们聊得满自在，满顺。
在凌晨十二点时，当他们开着车走时，突然间接到了一个电话，说车子开不了。所以就下去楼下赔了我的朋友，直到他的父母来救他。
之后，玩了玩电脑网，就玩到三四点了。不知不觉该睡了。

2009-11-05T20:32:00.002+08:00

I believe schools are a very good place to learn all the leadership and teamwork blah blah.. They seem to me to be the same as working life just that it's like a role play.

So do encourage the next generation to join as many things as possible.. cos I know i'll not be touching anymore academia's side activities.

2009-11-05T18:22:00.002+08:00

昨天我的大老板帮我写了一封推荐信，让我拿去应诊。拿到那封信后心理觉得好兴奋。让我在工作上加了些力。我想以后我该用两个语言来blog.

Yesterday my big boss helped me write a recommendation letter, to facilitate my jobhunt/interviews. After getting the letter, I felt more happy/motivated to put in the extra effort into my work.

I realised the doctors really earn a lot. When one was called back from standby, he is given a choice of having an off day or $240. One of them said this "Then I'll take the off day, $240 isn't that hard to earn." In my mind then I was thinking $240 is my 5 days worth of pay, and half a month's pay as a recruit.. yet he referred to it as just peanuts.

Also, adding the fact that locums are paid 120 per hour.
I came to the conclusion that being a doctor makes economical sense.

I should be a doctor in my next life..

试试看。。。

2009-10-25T20:16:00.002+08:00

用华语来说明我的感触。
今天跟昨天一样，没有作了什么。大多数的时间用在睡，以补充上个星期做工时的缺。当然也有足够的时间玩电脑游戏。但不知为何，每把时间花在找寻工作上。现在想起就有点后悔，后悔但以来不及了。在不多久又是星期一，又是另一个上班的一天。多莫希望能够找到一份好工作，让以后的日子比较好过。可是人算不如天算，看来我很可能会在一个没那么喜欢的工作过日子。。。嗨，该看开一点吧。许先生。加油！

Beyon..... ics

2009-10-24T16:46:00.003+08:00

It is really true that HR tries to eliminate as many ppl as possible in the 1st round, then tries to select and keep them in the 2nd. But engineering may not be for me after all..

Admin Ass

2009-10-16T00:51:00.002+08:00

I am thankful for the admin job that was introduced to me. It keeps the day occupied and transforms the thoughts into dreams.

Today is the only time i stayed awake so late for this week.. mainly cos i have to wake early. Working life has made me realise i have nothing else to do after work.. I really need a hobby to add some balance.

Engineer? Sigh....

2009-10-16T00:19:00.002+08:00

One of the reasons why i chose Bioengineer was because the other kind of engineering seems so borring... yet now i'm in a situation where i am seriously in need of a job and considering going into that so called boring field..

たすけて！

2009-10-11T02:19:00.002+08:00

I am thankful for being safe here amidst the tropical storms happening around asia pacific

It's been a short day with it raining in the morning till I napped in the afternoon. Doesn't seem like I've done anything at all.

I shd get back to my daily planning.

2009-10-10T02:07:00.002+08:00

I am thankful for having enough to eat that I got fat, and also the choice of exercising so that i'm not.

Thing is.. I've yet to exercise my choice.. I'll do so tmr at ECP.
30 days challenge.. According to the website Zen Habits, 30 days is the time needed to change or start a habit. So far I've not slept beyond 10am.. Yosh! though what i really wanted was to wake before the sun rises everyday, it's still an acheivement.

Time for bed. =)

I'm thankful for...

2009-10-09T00:46:00.003+08:00

I shall start a new kinda post that I will post every day (i try)
This is to look at the positive things in my life and hopefully lead to something else

I am thankful for the ability to stay awake till 1am and not worry about having to wake up early tomorrow for work.

They say that in job hunting...

2009-10-09T00:32:00.002+08:00

It is important to keep your spirits up. And one of it is to look for uplifting stories to read.

I didn't find that but I manage to find a real story of how one does not back down from life's adversities. The Principle Investigator driving a taxi while having a PhD from Stanford. The 2 jobs are as different as from heaven and earth I would conclude from reading all the stories that he has blogged about. I admire his courage to take up a taxi driver's role and his humility.. And also his ability to look at the positive side of things that made him blog about it for others to see what a taxi driver goes through..

I'll be on the lookout for more of such stories..

2009-09-29T15:20:00.002+08:00

"How competitive are you?"
This question stumped me.. what are you trying to find out here?
"How confident are you at handling unstructured situations?"
"How comfortable are you in meeting new people?"
"How well do you learn applications?"

I'm utterly stunned by the questions that are not what I expect

"The Now Habit"

2009-09-25T10:39:00.002+08:00

Right now I'm reading this book which is targeted at how to stop the procrastinating habit with a series of introspection and a few change in mindset and behaviours.

So far I've been able to find out that there's much more time in my days with just the habit of waking early and sleeping on time. But I've still got much to work on.

The whole job process is a difficult thing..

2009-09-24T20:19:00.003+08:00

Before: Job Hunting which includes searching the internet and the newspapers, screening out unsuitable jobs and taking note of jobs that you want but are not looking for you

For each and every job take a look at your resume before sending in. If there's time/opportunity type a cover letter to send in too.

Should there be no jobs, start sending snail mails of your resumes to the companies you are interested in.

Repeat till you get a job and take a break when you have depleted your morale

When you get a job, things to not so easy too. Preparation can take a long time which includes getting your attire and application forms (passport size photos) done. Research on the company and research on the job positions. Know what the job requires and what the company does.
Make a list of the possible interview questions that can be asked and make a list of answers in point form that you can use. Practice in the mirror and go through the whole interview process from knocking on the door to saying goodbye.

Not every interview will get you the job so repeat for every interview and you get a very demoralized and tired job hunter.

What the job hunter would appreciate is a reply whether he is rejected or considered for every position he was interviewed for/applied for. I find that only less than 10 percent get back to me. and for interviews 2 out of 6 did not get back to me.

I've got friends who's really good at what they do...

2009-09-21T01:12:00.003+08:00

I've 1 who is really really good at fashion sense and even does her own clothes
I've got 1 who's really into song writing
I've got 2 friends who are really into photography and are brilliant in their fields
I've got one who runs like the wind
I've 1 who can really dance well
I've one who really bakes really delicious things
I've one one who can really take up a language really fast and well
I've one who can do the piano really well
I've one who can think well on their feet and can do yoga everyday except sunday
I've one who is really good with the language and literary naunces and sees the funny side of life
I've 2 or more who really plays tennis well
I've one who knows more about flying a plane than I ever will

And all of them are in Bioengineering. It's really an honour.

Of course this list is not exhaustive, but it's really really swell that they are so good in what they do and how much they love it.

Still a child

2009-09-17T14:15:00.002+08:00

One thing i learnt from the bangkok trip is that I still have a lot of things to learn... such as humility a lot of habits to break... such as apathy

This is not going to be easy.

Still jobless.

2009-08-31T22:18:00.003+08:00

Maybe I should hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

And for a quote from "Combat Missions":

If you have a red dog with all the negative things, all the bad things and a white dog with all the positive things, all the things that you want. You throw them into a pit fight, which dog will win?

The dog which you feed the most will... the dog you feed the most will become the strongest and the one will win.

I haven't thought about it but it's a good analogy that fits in with the cognitive therapy thing. So think positive thoughts. The more you think them, the more the white dog will feed and become stronger... and in the end, win over the red dog.

NDE..

2009-08-31T14:52:00.002+08:00

Near Death Experience... well, partially.

I was reading my book while walking to the supermarket just now and while reading looked up to see there's no cars coming towards me, and stepped off the kerb to cross the road.. Woosh~ this taxi zoomed past me so close I could almost feel the metal and feel the weight of the car. I was stunned for a while and raised my hand in appreciation for not killing me, before crossing the road again.

Needless to say this is not the 1st time i've almost been hit, but its one of the closest. Should I have been hit, no one will know until my dad calls to ask if I'm coming home for dinner, until the hospital calls home to find no one is at home, then calling the other ppl on my hp. If i was hit the driver would have to be at the hospital with me, and I'll prob be at fault for causing the accident. Suddenly all the situations seems so real. They no longer just exist on movie scripts or drama serials.

Then I went on to think what if I've no more time left. What will I do? What do I miss or regret? And the sad thing is that I'll prob leave without regreting anything. no wishes left unfulfilled, no relationships suddenly broken. It seemed that I don't have any plan at all for my future, or goals.. I felt as if a ghost, thinking maybe I shouldn't be here, I should be at the hospital now, and my presence didn't make a difference to the people I see all around me.

Brr.. morbid thoughts.. I stopped thinking and went back.

Now the cost of making maki sushi that was finished in 1 meal:

Crab Sticks: 2.35/pack
Nori: 3.80/10 sheets
Rice: 7.5/kg
Cucumber: 0.80/3 sticks
Sushi Vinegar: 3.5/bottle
Preparation Time: 2.5 hours

So prob in total, the amount of ingredients used today was around 4.80. And prob the addition of soya sauce and wasabi which was from the fridge long forgotten.

The thing after all this prep and cooking is the effort used to make sushi is totally not worth the satisfaction gained from it. Doubtless the crab stick and cucumber feels very healthy compared to the hawker fare. But this will prob be the last time I make maki. Onigiri seems so much easier and filling compared to maki.

My favourite scene in "The importance of being earnest"

2009-08-25T00:03:00.000+08:00

BBC's gender of the brain

2009-08-21T04:28:00.002+08:00

This is my results.

If you want you can try it yourself here

Breaking Habits and Trying new things

2009-06-24T00:49:00.003+08:00

These are the 2 things which I want to learn and to do.

Movie Updates

2009-06-20T15:13:00.014+08:00

Bad:

Madagascar 2
Red Cliff

Okay:

Troy,
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,
L change the world,
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Red Cliff II
Letters from Iwo Jima

Above Average:

Rain Man,
Death Note: the last name,
Wall-E
Slumdog Millionaire
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Seven Pounds

Good:

Million Dollar Baby,
I am Sam
Bolt

Very Good:

Dead Poets Society
The Pianist

Movie Review: Bolt (2008)

2009-06-18T23:27:00.003+08:00

Clip 1: "Destiny Calls": extract from Bolt (2008)

In this movie, the lead dog (Bolt) is living a life only in the TV set, in order to make the expressions more believable. It is similar to the Truman Show in that sense where one's life is a TV production. However his escapades with his human (Penny) are usually done within a day. When the people from the network (read: boss) wants something more unpredictable, they set up a scene where Penny is kidnapped. Bolt doesn't know it's a TV script of course and goes to save her... but ends up all the way to New York by mistake. He is aided by a hamster (Rhino) and a kitten (Mittens) on his way back to Hollywood.

In this movie, it is the sidekick which is the funniest again (Think: Shrek). I particularly love the parts when he is so pumped up. Especially the above clip.

The nice thing about animation is that it is simpler than movies which touches on human issues. And an animation with a dog as the lead is even better in that sense. Not that there wasn't any human issues to deal with, but it sure is more laughable than the previous movie (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind).

Several themes here are explored just so slightly, including learning; learning the difference between one's view of reality and the reality shared by others, and of course, the real reality. Bolt was in his world where he can shoot beams out of his eyes and his superbark can literally blow things up. When Mittens tries to tell him that it is not true, he accepts it pretty quickly. Of course, he 1st tried to reason that it's the styrofoam that weakens him. In the end, because he is able to adapt quickly to reality, he manages to save Mittens from the pound.

One thing about learning of limitations is also that it will demoralise you. And Bolt was almost going to give up until Rhino reminds him that it is his image that lets other animals dare to dream for the impossible. Love how he tries to attack the cat or the guard. A hamster in a ball is almost harmless.

Another thing is teaching Penny to be an adult. Having lost her dog, she was disraught and didn't want to continue filming but was convinced by the network people to learn to be an adult in order to save the jobs of others. It's sad that being adult means doing things that are not what you want. But it definately is part of growing up.

3 points that I saw in this movie. Above the 3 points, it's a really good animation where you can see a consistent beautiful 3D environment and also witty dialogue.

Nightmare~

2009-06-15T23:41:00.002+08:00

This is a note for myself.

I just woke up from a nightmare about trying to chase a roach in the dark when I was sleeping and just woken up. It was a dark shadow and disappeared and appeared among the mess in the room so quickly that I can't really catch it with my newspaper. The roach flies and that's the main reason why I woke up. Cos it flew to me and I would lose control and just flay my arms and shut my eyes. But as time passes and I still didn't catch the roach or kill it, it begins to dawn on the person in the dream that the roach is not really there.

The venue changed and it's suddenly a white floor restaurant which i was dreaming I was taking my meal a moment ago. I scanned the floor for any oval shadow. (It was also in the dark. Surprisingly this whole nightmare was mostly in monochrome.) I saw one and I hit it, but it felt different. The dream ended with me suddenly seeing a blog that showed someone waking up from an alarm clock and saw a rare butterfly/moth, and the thing about this rare guest is that when you say any word, it will cause your fears to manifest as a hallucination. Then the scene went back to the restaurant and the waiter asked me to relax after the store lights are turned on (I was taking a torch to try to confirm my kill) . "Just relax" was the general msg and he explained it's the moth/butterfly playing tricks.

I woke up and can't drift back into sleep. Then I started thinking about job hunt and why I haven't been asked for job interviews yet. Cos I haven't been calling for jobs and that's one of my fears which is similar to what I have just dreamed. And the fear can just be a hallucination. But to me or to the dreamer, the hallucination can be so real that it restricts or limits what you can do. What I will need to do is to find a way to work through this fear of calling. And hopefully it will permeate and work against any fears such as fear of roaches.

PS I've prob had this nightmare because I'm thinking it has been a while since I encountered a roach at home

Your environment determines your personality

2009-06-15T19:10:00.001+08:00

I believe this is true. That is one of the reasons why i'm holding on and not finding just any job

Divide and Conquer.

2009-06-12T14:05:00.002+08:00

This is one of the classic rules when engaging in warfare, which holds true to computer algorithms, economics and politics. (source: Wiki)

What is useful about this is that one can also use it for everyday things, especially goals. When you have a goal which seems too big and difficult to accomplish, break it down to more manageble parts. Let's say you want to have a CAP 5 or 1st class at the end of your uni life. That seems impossible for most, so break it down to getting SAP 5 for your 1st semester. That will make it less intimidating and stressful, and less likely to make one paralysed in fear.

It's the same for physical training. Running a marathon now for me would be impossible. Yet if I go about training for it by breaking it down to more manageable parts: 5km runs, then 10km, and then 21 km; I will be able to train up my stamina to accomplish my aim of running a marathon one day. Conversely, if I am to just go for the marathon distance training of 42km, I will probably burn out or hit the wall at 10km and give up my goal at that moment.

So remember that for things you think is impossible or hard, just do it the tried and tested way:
Divide and Conquer

You're not alone

2009-06-12T03:01:00.003+08:00

Today I've learnt that more often than not, when you think you're alone or feeling lonely, someone out there is in the same situation as you. And also probably doing the same thing as you and thinking the same thing as you are.

I have thought that I was the only person who's thinking of unsolicited internship. I was wrong.
I thought that I am probably the only one holding on for a career in the biomed industry. I was wrong.
I thought that I was the only one who has such bad grades. I was wrong.

Anyway it is comforting to know that in spite of the loneliness during a job hunt, in spite of the many hours by yourself and in your own world, in spite of writing the same cover letter and resume until you don't know what is true or not;

you are not alone.

Movie Review

2009-06-09T18:23:00.003+08:00

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Jim Carrey plays as an uncharacteristic sombre and serious guy who had just erased his memory of his ex-girlfriend (Kate Winslet) as a way of getting back at her after he found out that she erased him. In the middle of the procedure which has him going through his memories of being with her and being erased, he changes his mind and tries to keep some memories by delving into memories which do not have her: his childhood.

This film is basically involves only 5 main characters: Joel (Jim Carrey), Clementine (Kate Winslet), the Doctor, the tech guy and Mary the receptionist (Kristen Dunst). It brings out the very small world we live in by showing the movie from the perspective of Joel. I think the main moral of this film is that it may seem that the current situation isn't the best of what is expected, or it could even be sad or depressing, but the memories that brought people together are what we should remember and try to recreate. The happy times.

Of course it is not as simple as that. And even at the end of the movie, the two lovers or ex lovers almost went their seperate ways again after listening to the tape which Joel recorded as a record for his memories of Clementine and the reasons why he wants to erase her. They didn't in the end and went ahead to try to build their relationship back up again.

All in all, it is a very realistic film abeit strange at first as it doesn't fit into anything typical of Asian. An amerian life: a single guy living in his own apartment and trying to live his life as best as he could. It does however show how alone one can be, even with his family, especially when his mum and dad quarrels. Shows how memories such as a bullied childhood influences him. I believe there are too many facets to explore and probably I would have to re-watch it again to break them down into their individual components.

It is a good film though, brings to mind another film "Lost in Translation" which evokes similar feelings of being lost and not belonging.

Off to my Grad Trip!

2009-06-04T10:18:00.003+08:00

Will be back on Sunday Night!

Next on the list

Job Hunt
Commencement
Job Hunt

Enjoying the moment.. or capturing the moment?

2009-06-02T02:03:00.005+08:00

Often I have wondered as I snapped away with the camera if doing so will allow me to enjoy the trip more. I would reason with myself that this is the only time I will be at this place, at this time, doing this thing; Taking pictures is therefore the only thing I can bring back with me should the memory fail. So I will try to spot potential good photographs, such as a foreground/background, and apply the rule of 1/3.. making sure not to overexpose or underexpose it. Then it got me thinking. Isn't travelling overseas meant to be enjoyed? Instead, I was worrying about taking the most number and the prettiest pictures.

I realise the times when I enjoy myself most is when I have already taken all the pictures and there are nothing else to snap. That is when I stare at the clouds, at the streets, at the people passing by and hawking their wares. It's taking in of the whole atmosphere which makes it memorable, not taking as many photos as possible.

Thus, I believe there should be a balance; I'm sure your friends and relatives would like to see what you saw overseas, and you would like to reminisence too. But don't forget to stop and take in the moment: the warm sun on your face, the breeze running through your hair, the salty smell of the sea, the laughter of the kids and the taste of culture, something very different from what you experience at home.

Next time, I will limit myself to the number of photos I take. Or at least set aside the 1st 5 minutes to take in the moment.

Yes We CAN!

2009-06-01T21:20:00.003+08:00

Previous title : Change is hard when you are already used to something...
This is easily shown by my recent attempts to correct my teeth once again.

*Background story*
You might not know but I have extracted 8 teeth 5 years ago to put on braces to correct my teeth alignment. At the end of 1 year, I could remove my braces and move on to the final step which is retainers. I have to wear my retainers every day and every time except when eating. This was fine until I was told I can wear them only at night. Being the rebel that I am, I didn't do it every night. Soon, a few nights of forgetting to wear them turned into weeks and then months. Not surprisingly, my teeth went out of alignment again. I paid no heed to them as when I tried to wear my retainers again, they hurt my teeth and 1 hr after not wearing it, they went back to the same crooked alignment.

Since it was the "holidays" or end of my academic path, I decided to do what I should have been doing: put things right once and for all. I had a goal of keeping my room clean, and doing what I am supposed to do and what I can do for myself. This includes exercising, grooming, removing my mole and correcting my teeth.
*end of Background story*

On the trip in cambodia, I had once again donned the retainers. I thought, painful as it seems, the results will pay off soon enough. 24 hours was how long I lasted before I took it off. I was discouraged by the fact that even though I have worn them for 24 hours (painfully), after 1 hour, the pain wasn't there anymore and it means the teeth has gone back to position again. It seems that my 24 hours is undone by 1 hour.

Buuuuuut (Funny there's always 2 sides to a coin when it comes down to examining it). On hindsight, now that I've went through 24 hours, I will now aim to do it for 36 hours. Slowly increasing it until I can bear with it without taking it out. Hopefully breaking my ultimate goal into step by step mini-goals, I'll be able to achieve my straight teeth. again. =)

And so, I will change my title to Yes We CAN!

End of Uni Report

2009-06-01T20:39:00.005+08:00

If you are as concerned about grades as I am and the government are, pls ask me for the excel sheet for you to calculate ur SAP and CAP. You can see what SAP you need to meet your target CAP. I have tried to see if it's possible to get a 2nd upper if I worked harder, and I must say it is difficult, and that the true meaning of getting a SAP above your CAP only dawned on me after seeing how it affects your CAP.

Figure 1: Number of modules taken and their respective grades (Above). CAP/SAP versus semester.

The mode and median grade is B+ (4.0) and the end CAP is 3.65. Modules not counted are 20MCs (SEP), 6MCs (VIP), 8MCs (S/U). Total MCs taken is 162.

In retrospect, I think I did pretty alright. If it has been smooth sailing in sem 3, I'll prob be able to pull it up to 2nd upper. But fate deemed it wasn't meant to be. And also, there's no point crying over spilt milk, think of what could have been, dwell on the past.

Thus I conclude that I am happy I managed to pull myself out of the mindset that I am not clever, just that I didn't apply the right techniques/strategies. If you want to know what they are, please refer to the previous post. And as to how to study, I'm afraid everyone has their own strategy and it's up to you to discover which is best suited for you.

PS
The list of modules that got me at least an A- are

GEK1542 Forensic Science
EC1301 Principles of Economics
EG1109 Statics and Mechanics of Materials
MA1505 Mathematics I
SC1101E Making Sense of Society
SSA2211 Evolution of a Global City State
PC1326 Physics in Life Science
and my FYP.

So if you want a easy module.. these are what a bioengineer thinks is easy.

Back from Cambodia~

2009-06-01T00:03:00.002+08:00

with a flu bug..

As I go around Singapore with my face mask on, i realised i'm prob the only one who wears the mask even if i'm not the only one who's sick. Oh gosh. There are times such as on the bus when I wonder if I'm protecting others from me or protecting me from the others. There was this guy who cough and sneezed on the seat beside me on the bus. I had half a thought to pass him my spare face masks so that he'll protect the rest too.

Anyhow, I think it's because the casualty rate of H1N1 is low, so not many ppl are bothering with the masks. I do hope that people will all do their part for the good of others though. And to start, please stop looking at the guy with a face mask walking down the street. He is okay, otherwise he'll be quarantined or in the hospital.

I think this is one of the good thing about exchange programmes, it helps you really have a different view of your cultures and implicit assumptions and how they affect the behaviours around you.

That said. I think i shall post one of the earlier written list of what to do when u're in NUS/NTU

Reflection at the end of my 4 years in NUS

1. Join a CCA like PRU or BizCom where you get to be in many committees doing different stuff.
2. Spend time studying and focusing on the modules. Find some coursemates or even just sch mates to sit with and study all day long.
3. Be prepared to interact with the professors and ask them questions or just build a relationship. The networking will help too.
4. Attend as many workshops as you can. Especially career workshops and TIP workshops. You can learn much knowledge from them.
5. Get some volunteering experience and it'll be even better if you join YEP as a organising committee to overseas.
6. Go for NOC if possible. And USP. These will help boost ur resume
7. Make use of the facilities in NUS such as the tennis courts and badminton/gym
8. Find out what you want to do in a career before making your choice into which university
9. Make use of the library to learn stuff such as ACCA/CFA
10. Be involved in school activities such as career guides or some pioneer groups

Running is good for the mind..

2009-05-26T03:02:00.003+08:00

Just did a 7.5km jog around my neighbourhood. It was tiring and there were times when i feel like stopping and just give up and walk. But I perservered through and completed it. A good site to map your route and find out how many calories lost was recommended to me by a friend. I think it's good that you can track how often you workout and know the distance travelled/calories burned too.

Part of the reason why I ran at such an hour is because I slept the whole day... literally. Cos I have been sleeping at 5-6am till 1pm. But today since it was so boring and I have nothing to do, I slept again till 6pm and am wide awake now. So I think it's really true that one must have a routine during this period of unemployment. Otherwise one may end up whiling the days away.

After the run, I feel much better than being at home all day all week all month. It really saps your energy away. Perhaps it's time to get a temporary job or something..

Anyway, I'll be off to cambodia in 2 hours time and back in 5 days. Hopefully it'll give me time away from all these, and get me some motivation to call the companies

Job Hunting...

2009-05-24T06:12:00.004+08:00

is demoralising and isolating.

These are some tips from some website

Think Positive

Negative thinking involves a series of thoughts and repeating patterns whereby you always expect the worst of yourself and future situations. Negative thoughts about yourself and your performance and ability to achieve success will impact upon your chances of success. With negative thoughts comes a persona to match.

People who think negatively exude negativity in their speech, their mannerisms, the way they dress and the way they carry themselves. Employers want confident individuals who will add value to their organization. That is all that interests them, what you can do for them, not what they can do for you. So negative thinking will be off putting. To attract good fortune you need to think positively. This positive attitude will then reflect itself in everything that you do.

Having great credentials will not be enough to guarantee you success without that positive confident winning attitude. Believe in yourself and employers will too!

Some negative thought patterns relating to job search:

* Expectation of failure
* Putting yourself down and being overly critical of yourself
* Doubting your ability to do the jobs you are applying for
* Believing every other applicant is better than you and has more to offer

These negative thought patterns can damage your confidence and affect your performance. If you believe you will do badly in your job interview you probably will, BUT if you believe you will do well in your interview that can work wonders for your chances.

To keep yourself thinking positively you should create positive affirmations that you can use to counteract any negative thoughts. These positive affirmations will help you to build self-confidence and maintain it. In addition to this you could keep small cards that you can carry with you with details of your personal achievements or sayings that make you feel good. The more personal these sayings are the better. They can be sayings from the family, your partner, friends, or an inspiring quote you read in a book. As long as the saying uplifts and inspires you then having it handy for quick reflection is a very helpful.

Accept that you will have bad days and to avoid on those days thinking every day is a bad day on a calendar make a happy face to indicate a happy day and sad face to indicate a sad day. This way when you do have a bad day you can instantly check your calendar and see that not every day is like that after all. Meanwhile if you do find you are having a lot of bad days, you may find a chat with a good friend, GP, counsellor or coach is needed in case you need extra help addressing those feelings and dealing with them.

Know your Value

Employers want to know what how you can benefit their organization and what talents and skills you can bring to the table. Your talent and ability is your 'employment value.' You need to identify what your employment value is before you start your job search so you can make sure you highlight this value in your job applications.

It will also ensure that you realise your own potential and apply for jobs that you will find rewarding.

Expect it to take time and effort

Finding a job can be a full time job in itself. Expect to devote a substantial amount of time and energy to the process. If you are unemployed, spend at least 30-40 hours per week and if you are employed, expect to have extra work to do when you get home for several weeks/months until you find a new job.

Take care of yourself

Job hunting can be stressful and can lead in some cases to depression. Maintain your health as best as you can by ensuring that you eat regularly, exercise and sleep well. Allow yourself plenty of relaxation time when you are not giving any thought to job hunting!

Set goals

Set clear defined achievable goals and be prepared to review them after a few weeks /months and set new goals. Be flexible and adaptable in your approach to job hunting. If one avenue is not working then try another. Avoid getting stuck in a rut.

Tip: The job search organizer, can track your goals & progress. Give it a try click here

Join a job clubThink Positive

Negative thinking involves a series of thoughts and repeating patterns whereby you always expect the worst of yourself and future situations. Negative thoughts about yourself and your performance and ability to achieve success will impact upon your chances of success. With negative thoughts comes a persona to match.

People who think negatively exude negativity in their speech, their mannerisms, the way they dress and the way they carry themselves. Employers want confident individuals who will add value to their organization. That is all that interests them, what you can do for them, not what they can do for you. So negative thinking will be off putting. To attract good fortune you need to think positively. This positive attitude will then reflect itself in everything that you do.

Having great credentials will not be enough to guarantee you success without that positive confident winning attitude. Believe in yourself and employers will too!

Some negative thought patterns relating to job search:

* Expectation of failure
* Putting yourself down and being overly critical of yourself
* Doubting your ability to do the jobs you are applying for
* Believing every other applicant is better than you and has more to offer

These negative thought patterns can damage your confidence and affect your performance. If you believe you will do badly in your job interview you probably will, BUT if you believe you will do well in your interview that can work wonders for your chances.

To keep yourself thinking positively you should create positive affirmations that you can use to counteract any negative thoughts. These positive affirmations will help you to build self-confidence and maintain it. In addition to this you could keep small cards that you can carry with you with details of your personal achievements or sayings that make you feel good. The more personal these sayings are the better. They can be sayings from the family, your partner, friends, or an inspiring quote you read in a book. As long as the saying uplifts and inspires you then having it handy for quick reflection is a very helpful.

Accept that you will have bad days and to avoid on those days thinking every day is a bad day on a calendar make a happy face to indicate a happy day and sad face to indicate a sad day. This way when you do have a bad day you can instantly check your calendar and see that not every day is like that after all. Meanwhile if you do find you are having a lot of bad days, you may find a chat with a good friend, GP, counsellor or coach is needed in case you need extra help addressing those feelings and dealing with them.

Know your Value

Employers want to know what how you can benefit their organization and what talents and skills you can bring to the table. Your talent and ability is your 'employment value.' You need to identify what your employment value is before you start your job search so you can make sure you highlight this value in your job applications.

It will also ensure that you realise your own potential and apply for jobs that you will find rewarding.

Expect it to take time and effort

Finding a job can be a full time job in itself. Expect to devote a substantial amount of time and energy to the process. If you are unemployed, spend at least 30-40 hours per week and if you are employed, expect to have extra work to do when you get home for several weeks/months until you find a new job.

Take care of yourself

Job hunting can be stressful and can lead in some cases to depression. Maintain your health as best as you can by ensuring that you eat regularly, exercise and sleep well. Allow yourself plenty of relaxation time when you are not giving any thought to job hunting!

Set goals

Set clear defined achievable goals and be prepared to review them after a few weeks /months and set new goals. Be flexible and adaptable in your approach to job hunting. If one avenue is not working then try another. Avoid getting stuck in a rut.

Tip: The job search organizer, can track your goals & progress. Give it a try click here

Join a job club

A trouble shared is a trouble halved. Joining a job club can be a great way of remaining motivated as you can all encourage each other and help keep that job search momentum going.

Above all be patient

7 sins

2009-05-23T02:37:00.014+08:00

Today's turnout at JobsConnect was dismal. I really should have prepared for it before heading down but I reasoned with myself that there isn't any good companies for me to spend that time. Thus not only did I turn up without my resume and appropriate certs, I woke up at 1230 just in time to know that YY and kami has finished the fair. Thankfully I have other friends who went in the afternoon too. Without them, I would not have went down and wander like a lost ghost, seen by no one and making no interactions with anybody.

Going to the fair reminds me that one of the mistakes a jobseeker makes is thinking that he/she is overqualified for the job. I had this in mind when filling up the form for a management trainee post. My handwriting was bad, I didn't give all the details and lastly I didn't go print out my resume and certs.. Ok, I don't have my certs, but I can still print my resume cos I had my laptop with me. That said. I'll most definately not get any calls from them because of such thoughts which leads to such behaviour. Indeed, pride is so famous as a sin, it's one of the 7 cardinal sins used in the early Christian times to educate the followers.

From there, I realised I have habits/behaviour that exemplifies most of the 7 sins.

Vice	Virtue
Lust	Chastity
Gluttony	Temperance
Greed	Charity
Sloth	Diligence
Wrath	Patience
Envy	Kindness
Pride	Humility

Table 1: Sins and corresponding virtues (source: wiki)

Vice	Behaviour
Lust	You know what... and also, the original meaning was yearning for luxury which I admit I do yearn for a cushy life
Gluttony	I eat more than needed, especially if the food is good
Greed	I take more than I need: if it’s free, I’ll take all. And I seldom or do not give to those asking for donations
Sloth	I sleep, therefore I am
Wrath	I do have internal anger that is not expressed
Envy	Very easily. Scorpios are supposedly the epitome of this. Which is true for me
Pride	Like the job hunt currently

Table 2: Sins and my corresponding behaviour

Now the logical way is to come up with action to remedy these behaviour. Or a cover up will do by listing virtues and their corresponding behaviour. But I think this is long enough so I will leave it for another day.

Pseudo-Learning

2009-05-23T02:26:00.002+08:00

The addictive part about games is that as you spend more time on it, the challenges seems to be easier. At least the challenges once faced. Thus it seems that one is learning from mistakes and learning new skills to solve problems.

Yet most of the games which I play (eg Diablo 2, SIlkroad Online, Mousehunt) all share one thing in common: they take up lots of time and teaches nothing in return! This is most easily seen when you 'cheat', 'bot', 'hack' or whatever you call it.

Suddenly you see the difference: the problems you once faced seems so easy now. Those which you thought was impossible is now 易如反掌. Playing suddenly loses it's meaning and how does one combat it? For me, I go on and look for other games to fill the void. But more often than not, the next game will also be of a similar nature. a pseudo learning game.

That is why the more successful games will be those of repeated playability. Those which you always start off with the same hand. Games like chinese chess teaches you to think ahead, counterstrike teaches you to be more nimble with the keyboard and the mouse, DOTA teaches you teamwork, bridge tests your memory by remembering the cards played. These are good games and should be played more often as they really do teach you applicable skills.

That said. I really should uninstall diablo 2 and also restaurant city. But as always.. I'll only do so when pushed and shoved. or when something else appears to fill the future void.

CFA

2009-05-20T01:47:00.004+08:00

Today's a pretty normal school day. Go to the library, open a book and fall asleep. But in the middle, i managed to have a glimpse of what doing CFA is like thanks to kami. I skimmed through the 1st 4 chapters while kami finished her goal of 2 chapters. She was pretty satisfied with her day while I was thinking I should have done more. The moral of the story is to set a reasonable goal and accomplish it, rather than just saying i'll do as much as I can. Chances are you'll be more motivated to study.

On a side note, a CFA level 1 has a passing percentage of 35% and costs ~600 USD per examination. I think I'll only pursue it when I start working

PS: I was doing just volume 1 while kami was doing volume 3, so that explains the diff in chapters too.

2009-05-16T12:12:00.001+08:00

From what i gather so far. if you want to go into biomedical industry, don't go into bioengineering. Go into mechanical or chemical and specialise in bio related tracks. Almost no one is looking for a graduate in bioengineering.

2009-05-15T00:48:00.002+08:00

Getting rejected by a job is just like being rejected in love. After the rejection, it feels like the end of the world and no one can replace the idealized image in your head. It is important to stay positive. This is another challenge I have to overcome.

Counting my blessings among the gloom

2009-05-15T00:42:00.003+08:00

An electrical engineer once told me that she didn't choose bioeng because the course is tough and finding job is not easy also, that's why she went into electrical engineering. Now I know 1st hand that what she said is true. But still, I got to be thankful for the nice ppl that I meet in this 4 yrs. If I have a chance again, I'll go ahead and do chem engin or mech eng or EE.. but I'll know that I'll miss being with the ppl i know from BIE.

Excuses!

2009-05-03T01:32:00.000+08:00

That's what was said to me whenever I try to explain why I can't do it.. I think there is a lil truth to it. I can do it if I try really really hard

2009-04-30T00:44:00.000+08:00

If you are graduating, pls visit this website:
http://ivle.nus.edu.sg/lms/careercentre/careercourse.aspx

Hope you get a good job after this!

=) Eine sehr gut Rede

2009-04-14T09:08:00.004+08:00

„Männer!
Es war ein langer Krieg.
Es war ein harter Krieg.
Ihr habt tapfer und stolz für euer Vaterland gekämpft.
Ihr seid eine besondere Gruppe,
die ineinander einen Zusammenhalt gefunden habt,
wie er sich nur im Kampf entwickeln kann.
Unsere Kameraden,
die Fuchshöhlen geteilt haben,
die sich in schrecklichen Momenten gegenseitig geschützt haben,
Die den Tod zusammen gesehen haben.
und gemeinsam gelitten haben.
Ich bin stolz mit euch gedient zu haben.
Sie alle verdienen ein langes und glückliches Leben in Frieden!“
Band of Brothers, s1e10 „Point“

"I am sick~" - Before & During

2009-04-05T03:53:00.004+08:00

Things are a lil diff compared to before.

2009-03-26T22:48:00.000+08:00

I feel old by saying this but it is true.. I'm now having instant noodles with ketchup. Something I had been eating frequently when young but not now. Also plain rice with light soya sauce. haha.. seems like pauper's food compared to what I usu have for lunch or dinner now.

MAybe that's why ppl get fat. too much good food

Lovely song that reminds me of Deutschland trip

2009-03-22T00:52:00.000+08:00

No more internet radio!!! =(

2009-03-03T22:31:00.000+08:00

Internet Radio Streaming stopped

Thank you for visiting this site. We regret to inform that Internet streaming for the stations are no longer available as of March 1st, 2009.

Please tune in to our broadcast programmes on FM.

We look forward to your continued support of MediaCorp’s radio stations.

excerpt from http://www.mediacorpradio.sg/offlinestations.asp

Is it over?

2009-03-02T02:24:00.000+08:00

I just spent 12 hours sleeping, recovering from the 2 days 2 nights OBS camp.. Muscle aches.. Body itches... Mind a daze.. and mid term quiz tmr. Ouch. This is the 1st time I have gone without sleep for 48 hours exactly. I must say it's tough, but still rewarding in a sense that I was nearly out of the camp but managed to get through it in the end, though there are more ways that I can improve on.
I'm having inertia to study for tmr with all the aches everywhere with numb fingers.. "Living with Mathematics" didn't seem so hard until I saw the sample qn paper

Credit Crisis based on Calvin and Hobbes

2009-02-26T15:23:00.000+08:00

In many films.. the freedom of choice is emphasized.. To choose or not to choose~

2009-02-26T15:15:00.001+08:00

1st post

2009-02-23T02:53:00.000+08:00

We have moved! All the archives has been moved. This is a new start because as we all know how employers go to facebook and blogs to check employees. As such, this will be the place where I pen my thoughts that are socially acceptable: (read: positive thinking and accomplished).
The old is not deleted, just stored.. But more measures to increase privacy will be implemented to photos and such.. meaning if you want to see them, ask me~ =)